Why does love have to hurt so much?
by cassiopea7398
Summary: InuYasha and Kikyo are pretty public about their relationship now. And Kagome was almoast over it when she starts having these crazy dreams about our favorite Ice Prince Sesshomaru.What happens when kags falls for him? But he won't admit his own fealings? There may or may not be lemons, I'm still debating. SesshyXKags, InuXKikyo, MirXSan, all my faves.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my very first published fanfic. I really hope you like it. ^_^**

**Anywho on to the story. **

**Oh yeah... I don't own inuyasha or any of its characters no matter how much I wish I did... T.T**

_**Chapter #1: A new dream...**_

_~Gold and red... that was all I could see. A wisp of white blew across my vision and then I felt something warm and soft brushed against my lips. A large strong hand came up behind my neck and tipped my head back, then his tongue glided across my lower lip...~ _

I sat up gasping, my body tingling with pleasure. 'Oh god! Why the hell do I keep dreaming about Sesshomaru?' I thought. 'Better yet why am I kissing him in my dream?' It was still late so I got up, grabbed my bath bag and headed to a hot spring.

Sinking into the hot water I let my tense muscles relax, and lay my head back against the large rock behind me. 'Ah that is sooo much better.' My thoughts began to wander until I heard a gasp and a moan. Getting out of the water I wrapped a towel around my body and and walked quietly to investigate. A way off in the forest I found the source of the sound. InuYasha and Kikyo we're in a very intimate position against a tree. I wasn't really surprised. I was quite used to walking in on them at this point, so I turned quietly and calmly around and headed back to my bath.

It didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to, now all I felt was the dull ache of a love long long lost. There were no more tears, InuYasha was no more than a protective older brother or close friend at this point. At least that's what I told my self.

Actually my mind wandered again to the stoic Lord Sesshomaru, and my strange recurring dream. 'Huh' I thought ' if it keeps coming back like this I should probably pay attention to it. Its either a warning or a preview of what's to come. Either way I've been here too long.' I got out dried off and dressed before heading back to camp.

I climbed back into bed at about 1:00 in the morning, and fell to sleep, probably only to fall prey to that unlikely dream once again.

**Otay, tell my how you like it. I'm not sure if its any good but I'll try to finish it. ^_^ I know one of the single most annoying things are when stories are left unfinished.( no offense to people who have one or two of those) I'll update as often as I can, I promise. Ja mata (see you later) **

**- Cassiopea **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again. I was kinda surprised like 30 minutes after I posted chapter one 10 people had already seen my story. Thanks to you people who favorited my story only a few hours after I posted it. That was super encouraging. :D **

**I don't own Sesshy or the rest of them...;(**

**BTW: I'm writing this story on my nook so it takes forever to type it out. Anywho...**

_**Chapter #2: I Hate Exams...**_

"Hey Sango? Can I take Kirara for today I have a really big test back home." I asked as we tore down camp.

"Sure Kagome. Oh and while you're out can you get a new thing of conditioner I'm almoast out?"she replied.

I smiled at my friend "Sure thanks!" I climed on Kirara's back and headed back to the well. It had been almoast a week since that night and the dream continued to return. Though last night was different. I can't remember what he said but I'm sure he spoke to me. How strange, perhaps Lady Kaede would know what it means... I blushed at the thought of telling the old preistess of such a dream but I was extreamely curious.

When we reached the well I told Kilala to take it easy for the day and meat me at kaedes by sunset. The large cat noded her understanding and lept off. She would likely enjoy a day of hunting and time for herself. While I on the other hand would suffer through an exam that, let's face it, I was totally unprepaired for. 'Oh joy!'

Jumping into the well I almoast smiled trying to imagine what outlandish ailment my dear Ji-chan had come up with this time.

**Later that day...**

'Well I'm pretty sure I failed my test... oh well it can't really be helped.' I thought as I made my way to kaedes hut that afternoon. I nocked at the door of her hut and was invited in by the old woman.

Sitting down on the floor of the hut I said "Lady Kaede?"

"Yes child?" She replied.

"I was hoping you could help me with this dream I keep having... its about Lord Sesshomaru."

The old woman gave me a curious look. "Go on child."

I continued to tell her about the dream. By the end I could feal my face burning with ebaressment. 'Why was this a good idea again? Oh yeah I was hoping she might have more experience with weird crap like this.'

Kaede looked pensive. A few times she opened her mouth to say something but closed it again. Finally she spoke, "I can honestly tell ye I do not know. If I were ye child I would keep a close eye out for our Lord Sesshomaru and see what hapens when next you meet."

I nodded my understanding and stood up. "Thankyou Lady Kaede, I should be going now." She walked me out to Kirara and saw me off just as the sun touched the mountains.

We rode for several hours befor I began to feel sleapy. I told Kirara to land and we would continue in the morning. When we landed I pulled out my sleaping bag and was getting ready for bed when I felt a strong demonic aura coming closer. I finnished getting ready and sat on my sleaping bag with my bow accross my lap waiting to see if the demon would attack or pass by.

It was about a half hour before I began to hear foot steps. 'Wholy crap, this demon has a huge aura!' Finally the bushes rustled befor the demon stepped out off the shaddows and I could see him. I recognised him instantly. At this point I could have spoted him in any crowd. He was, after all the one demon who had stared in my dreams for over a month now. I gasped...

"Lord Sesshomaru..."

**Cassiopea- Duhn duhn duhn...**

**Kags- Wow... that was pretty dramatic.**

**Inu- Why'd you make it a cliff hanger.**

**Cassiopea- Because then readers want to know what hapens next. ^_^**

**Sesshy Sama- Honestly InuYasha, I'm not sure why you Even try to understand these humans.**

**Cassiopea- T-T aww Sesshy that's mean...**

**Kags- Eeeeee Sexy Sama spoke!...**

**Every one- O.o**

**Cassiopea- hehe... any who, please feal free to tell me how you liked it. I'll try not to hound y'all too much about it.**

**Inu- She'll uptade ASAP so you poor people aren't left hanging for too long.**

**Cassiopea- Ja mata mina! ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys sorry I havent uptated in a couple days. We had class and I was out of the house until 9:00 pm. Then my dad changed the wifi password. Any way... I thought I should warn you this fic is going to get pretty dark and depressing. No there is no abuse (yet) but there is probably self harm and suicidal thoughts...**

**On that happy note... I don't own inuyasha I just write stories about them for my own sick enjoyment.**

**Chapter #3: I won't admit it but...**

~~~last time~~~

...It was about a half hour before I began to hear foot steps. 'Holy crap, this demon has a huge aura!' Finally the bushes rustled before the demon stepped out off the shadows and I could see him. I recognised him instantly. At this point I could have spot him in any crowd. He was, after all the one demon who had starred in my dreams for over a month now. I gasped...

"Lord Sesshomaru..."

~~~back to normal~~~

"... what are you doing here?" I asked thoroughly shaken.

"I might ask you the same question miko." He replied, narrowing his sexy golden eyes at me... 'woah did I really just think that?!'

"I was visiting Lady Kaede and I got tired on the way back to the group so I'm sleeping here... and I have a name I'd appreciate if you used it." I stated indignantly.

"Hn'... why are you alone." He asked clearly ignoring my last comment.

"Because I didn't want to travel with the lecherous monk, I don't care to listen to InuYasha complain, and I don't trust Miroku and InuYasha to behave if they're alone together. Besides I have Kirara and I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself."

"I see." He replied shortly.

"Is it a crime for me to be alone?" I asked.

"No."

"Then I don't see why you care." I said putting my bow by my pillow and laying down.

He proceeded to sit against a tree and closed his eyes.

"Why are you still here." I asked annoyedly. I didn't want to admit it but my whole being was hyper aware of his presence. He was being extremely distracting and I couldn't sleep with him there.

"I'm sleeping do you have a problem with that... miko." He punctuated the miko.

Kami this man would kill me. 'Grrrrrrrr. Fine jerk. Two can play that game.' Ignoring him I turned my back on him and tried at least to rest my eyes for a few hours...

**Sesshys POV.**

I could feel the annoyance rolling off of this young woman in waves. Smirking inwardly I congratulated myself on getting her to shut up. Closing my eyes I convinced myself I would only make sure she got back to my useless brother unharmed. Despite the strange dreams I had been having as of late, I refused to acknowledge any attraction to her .

Eventually I slipped into sleep...

_~Sesshys dream~_

_Her velvet fingers caressed the back of my neck, driving me to the brink of my control. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to feel her small curvaceous body under my own. Meanwhile her warm full lips moved seductively against mine, as I allowed my hands to slide around and encircle her thin waist, bringing her body flush up against my own muscled chest._

_All heat rushed to one place. The most sensitive point of our contact. Wrapping one long leg up around my waist she..._

_~end dream~_

My eyes shot open as the first light of dawn came up over the mountains. Luckily my robe was baggy enough to hide my very uncomfortable erection. Closing my eyes once more I breathed deeply in through my nose and willed my unruly body back into its previous state. That problem solved I watched as the girl before me rose and stretched revealing her flat belly...

**Kags POV.**

I looked around and saw that Lord Fluffy was still here. Seeing him I remembered my dream from last night and blushed. 'Okay what the hell is wrong with me!' I wasn't going to pretend I didn't enjoy that dream, but that didn't mean it didn't confuse me. Then an idea struck.

"Hey Lord Sesshomaru? I have a question for you."

"And?" He replied.

"Well I was just wondering if you have had any strange dreams lately... so... Have you?"

He looked at me curiously for a moment then answered in the affirmative.

"Can you tell me what happens in them?"

"Why...?"

"Well... its um... I've been having this really weird recurring dream and... you're in it... please don't make me explain."

I saw surprise pass through his eyes briefly before returning to the cool golden yellow they were before. "You are in my dream also. Would you like me to elaborate?"

I blushed "No I think I can guess the rest... how weird..." Needless to say the trip back to the group was pretty awkward. Especially considering Sessh insisted on accompanying me.

**Muhahahaha...**

**Kags-Why me...*face palm***

**Inu-Good question why the hell are you with my brother instead of me?**

**Shippo-Cause your a jerk and mated the clay pot!**

**Inu:Shaddupp! Runt!**

**Kags-SIT BOY!**

**Cassiopea-Ahem anyways. I love hearing from my readers. Again I apologize for not updating sooner, my dad changes the wifi password every day so updates will be spotty. I won't stop writing though so depending on circumstances you may get 2 copies in one day! XD**

**Inu-Excuses Excuses.**

**Sesshy-Sama-You have no manners half wit. You ought to show respect to the person who writes this story!**

**Cassiopea-ToT thankyou Sexy-Sama!**

**Everybody-O.o**

**Inu-Not you too!**

**Rin-Ja!**

**[I fixed the dream peeps. Sorry about that.^_^']**


	4. Chapter 4

**Heeey! So I was re reading my last chapter and something must have glitched because in sesshys dream its missing almost a sentence and a half, so I'm sorry if it was oober confusing that was not my intent. I will try to fix that as soon as possible.**

**I don't own inuyasha... ;(**

**Chapter #4: a little roll in the hay... almost.**

_Kags POV._

I hadn't seen fluffy since then, and ever since then the dreams continued. It still seemed strange that he would dream about me, but the more I think about him the more I think I might really like him, maybe even have a crush on him. Weird as it sounds I'm not even sure InuYasha was a serious thing for me any more. And the fact that I may like his brother, the great and powerful dog demon that despises anything even related to humans, terrifies me. Seriously how in the seven deep dark pits of hell did this ever even happen?!

Dear Kami-Sama help me!

Three agonizingly long weeks later we met once again. I was awake after yet another puzzling yet incredibly arousing dream. I refused to go back to sleep so I decided to have another one of those midnight hot spring trips. Already naked and submerged in the warm relaxing waters I felt it. HIS aura. And it was steadily getting closer. Meeting him would already be way awkward as it was so what the hey. I may as well go the whole nine yards and have him walk in on me totally naked and defenseless. Why the hell not I was already insane enough to go and have a major crush on him.

_Sesshy POV._

I've had one big question rolling around in my brain for over three weeks now... "How in hell has this annoying, loud, Devilishly attractive, amazingly strong, HUMAN MIKO managed to plague not only my precious sleep but my every waking moment!?"

As I pondered this I was was walking through the forest trying to clear my mind, and suddenly HER scent is surrounding me. I hadn't been paying attention and must have subconsciously followed her scent to... here... a hot spring...! And I was staring directly at likely the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Reclining against a rock in the middle of the spring, steam rising around her, was the miko, Kagome, nude... As soon as I realized I was staring she spoke.

"I guess at this point, Sesshy-Sama, you have four options. One you could kill me, two you could take advantage of this defenseless pure maiden,three you could walk away,... or I suppose you could stand there and gawk I guess that works too.

I chose to ignore the despised nickname and return with the obvious question. "I thought you were waiting for my dearly despised half-brother." I sneered.

Her face remained passive as she replied"Your dearly despised half-brother prefers his dearly departed dead bitch, Kikyou. Besides I'm curious."

"About what miko?" I was curious about something as well, but not only would I never admit that... ever I also wanted to know if she thought the same as I.

She blushed "About what might happen if we played out those dreams we have had."

Her scent spiked with arousal. I smirked. I would tease this miko and see what happens. "How about we investigate that option. Surely its not taking advantage of this pure maiden if she invites this Sesshomaru." My smirk grew as I watched her practically glow with surprise and embarrassment.

_Kags POV._

_He did not just say what I think he did... did he._ My thoughts raged and my face burned. There in front of me was the man of my dreams (literally) smirking sexily down at me suggesting we do just what both our strange dreams have portrayed. My body screamed yes... my heart surprisingly also said yes... but I wasn't sure... I wasn't enthusiastic about having an inuyasha all over again.

"Shall I take your silence as a yes woman?" He obviously enjoyed my discomfort. Then he started to unfasten his armor, letting it fall to the ground.

"Uhh. W w what are you doing?" I wasn't scared, I wanted this but I was way more than embarrassed.

"Joining you" he said sensually.

"O oh..." by the time I had time to register what was happening he was there... in front of me... naked... and soking wet. _Oh Kami what is happening to me._

He leaned down and kissed me. In that moment I knew. Knew I had so much more than a simple crush on the most powerful yokai in the west. Knew I was more than in love with Lord Sesshomaru. I also knew I would be more than devastated if he rejected me. That fact alone terrified me.

**(AN. I considered ending here but a lot of you have iterated a few times that my chapters are pretty short, and I have plenty of time on my hands so I will continue.)**

He slowly released his hold on me breaking the kiss. I blinked up at him letting every thing show on my face. The surprise, the fear, the sadness, the love. Every thing. Praying he didn't ignore it. " Would you understand if I told you how terrified I am right now?"

He smirked "I expect most to fear me."

I pulled back from him "I didn't think so. I couldn't expect you to anyway."

His brow furrowed in confusion, securing his hold on me. "Explain."

"Don't give me false hope my Lord." I said showing proper respect. "I couldn't survive another heart break." He released his hold contemplating what I had said. Taking my opportunity I backed away from him and went to retrieve my towel and clothing.

As I was latching my bra in the back, Sesshomaru spoke up. "What makes you believe I would break your heart?"

I froze. "... Well for one I have only just realized that I am in love with you my Lord. Second you despise humans, so why should I be any different. Had we continued and finished what we started I can't help but think that when you had your fill I would be forgotten. And though I'm sure I would have enjoyed such an encounter with you Lord I would likely kill myself from the despair, guilt, and the knowledge that I was nothing more than some object for your release. I more than likely mean nothing to you."

Being fully dressed I gathered my things and left before my fears could be confirmed.

_Sesshy POV._

_What in the world did my brother do to you to make you so distrusting. True I dislike humans, but though I'll likely never willingly admit it something about you, Kagome, is different._ I left the spring and dressed. I decided to keep an eye on her for a while, so I went to find my pack and send them to the castle for a while.

**I know its not much of an improvement but I'll try to do better.**

**Inu-Why the hell does mr. Stick up his a.. care so much all of a sudden.**

**Cassiopea-You never know what he's thinking, that's just how I imagine him in his head. I might be wrong but oh well. This just fits my story.**

**Kags- I think its kinda hot. Everyone calls him the ice prince but he's really a big softie, right Sexy-Sama?**

**Sesshy Sama-Hn.**

**Fan girls- He's so hot! *squeels***

**Cassiopea- Feel free to let me know what you think. I'll update asap. Ja ne!**


	5. Chapter 5

**So hey. I'm back.**

**Inu- took you long enough.**

**Kags- hey be nice, its not her fault.**

**Cassiopea- yeah if it was up to me i'd update every day.**

**Inu- whatever.**

**Rin- she doesn't own us;)**

**Cassiopea- life's cruel.**

**Chapter #5: Thinking back.**

_Sesshy POV_.

Following my little brothers group proved to be quite interesting. My little brother really was a fool to choose the dead bitch over Kagome. Oh well, he'll realise his mistake once he discovered that clay pots can't have pups.

Any way following them I had time to think on some things, namely my absurd attraction to the living miko. The dreams started almost a year ago. I ignored them for two reasons, one she was my brothers bitch(no longer applicable as it would seem) and two she was a human. Despite my self I have recently questioned my second reason. I am beginning to wonder if I may have some rare mental illness. The dreams started innocent enough, but due to the most recent dreams I have decided something must be done seeing as how ignoring them did not work. That in mind the question now is what does one do about a dream he has had every time he closed his eyes for the past year, and it was obvious the one he dreams of had the same dreams? Well... I am royally screwed.

On a different note I have learned a thing or two about my fa... the miko. She is in fact over my half brother, she is more than tolerant of the dead bitches foul treatment of her, she wakes up every night and visits the nearest hot spring to clear her head of her dreams of me, and she knows I am tailing her while my half wit brother remains clueless. Some nights she'll talk to me while she sits in the hot springs. I never answer, but I listen to her. After all what else is there for me to do.

Listening to Kagome I learn so much more than by simply following her. She has told me of how her father left her and her family for another woman when she was no more than four. Kagome now has two sisters and three brothers whom she has never met. She tells me of her struggles with school( something that amazes me about her is that fact that she is a woman and not only is she allowed to learn, education is something she chases, she seeks to know all she can of the world she lives in. A small part of me admires her for that.) She also talks about how happy she is for Sango and Miroku, and how hurt she is that despite her acceptance of Kikyou, Kikyou still treats her as though Kagome is the bane of her existence.(A.N. was that confusing?... sorry :()

Kagome is so much stronger than I believe any one of us ever gave her credit for. Lately I've considered offering for her to travel with Jaken, Rin, and I. I wonder what she would say? I shall ask her tonight.

_Kags POV._

The water is wonderful tonight. As usual I can sense sesshy sama's presence. What wasn't normal was that tonight he spoke.

"I have an offer miko." His voice oh. My. God. The deep smooth baritone of Sesshomaru's voice is like velvet. It took a few seconds to regather my scattered thoughts after the initial shock.

"And?" I said shortly, so as not to reveal my wavering voice.

"I wondered if you would like to travel with my pack instead of inuyasha."

Woah of all the things I expected him to say, that certainly was NOT it. I thought about it though and then asked "Would Shippo be able to come as well?"

He was silent a few moments, not that that was strange at all, he just didn't reply right away. When he did reply it was in the affirmative, and he also said sango and miroku could tag along as well.

"I thought you didn't like humans."

"Typically I don't but since I'm asking you to join me, I know the kit will follow you. I also know that the slayer is your friend and is more loyal to you than inuyasha, and the lecherous monk will follow the slayer like a lost puppy. There for if I ask you to come I must be prepared to tolerate them as well. Do not worry miko I have given this much thought." He then fell y once again. That was a mouthful even for me, and Sesshomaru makes it a habit not to speak very often.

"Okay that makes sense I guess." The rest of the night was peacefully quiet. When I got dressed and headed back to camp I felt his aura following me. Actually, I felt him close to me at all times then, and I had become accustomed to it. It felt safe, I think if I felt him leave for more than a few hours at this point I would feel exposed, uncomfortable. It was like his presence was part of me, never very far from where I was.

I know I'm only setting myself up for heartbreak again, but I couldn't help it, my feelings for Sesshomaru were much stronger than anything I had ever felt for Inuyasha.

I constantly feel a mixture of both warm fuzzies, and stabbing pain. The warmth comes from the fact that he was here, close to me, listening to my ramblings without complaint or interruption. Something InuYasha could never do. The pain? Well I think that should be obvious. I don't know why he wants me to go with him but... I know he hates humans, Rin being the exception, and he only thinks of her as a daughter or favoured servant. Me? Well I'm human, he would never consider loving, much less mating or marrying anyone like me. Even though I'm going to accept his offer I know nothing but disappointment could come of this arrangement. Oh well, that's me. I must be some kind of masochist to pursue this relationship.

**Or is she? Dun dun dun...**

**Kags-Why do I sound so depressed?**

**Cassiopea-Because that's how I made you... JK no you know(or think you know) that Sexy-Sama could never love you back. You assume your love is unrequited, there for you are constantly stuck in the depths of despair. Muhahahahaha...**

**Kags-Okay yeah that would be pretty depressing.**

**Cassiopea-see? On another note this story is taking me somewhere I didn't expect, so I may or may not change the name, don't worry I'll tell you first before I change it. And we may not get as far as attempted suicide, to you sick masochistic people who are disappointed I'm sorry. Its not totally kicked off my options list yet, I just think things are going to well between them for Kags to feel depressed enough to do that.**

**Kags-you were going to make me attempt suicide?! D:**

**Inu-I thought you knew that.**

**Kags-wha...**

**Cassiopea-hehe... any way. I'll update as soon as possible. I love hearing from you guys, and special shout out to ****_llebreknit_**** your advice was super helpful thanks ^_^ I hope this was sufficient. I'm not great at stuff like that, but I tried.**

**Sexy-Sama- later.**

**Cassiopea-*faints from delight* ahhhhh.**


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